Holy HSP is now Megan's Sensitive Nature
Where Nature Heals and Love Wins...
Holy HSP is now Megan’s Sensitive Nature
I’ve long wanted to get back to my nature roots online. Something many don’t know about me: I’m what some refer to as a tree-hugging hippie. Have been for decades. But, I’ve often hid that side of myself because I belonged to Evangelical Christian spaces where that’s not allowed.1 As I learn more about neurodivergent masking and work to unmask, I’m making some changes online to embrace my authentic self.
Nature is why I started an online presence years ago! Nine years ago, I started my Instagram account to document my "nature therapy" while grieving. Along the way, I mentioned in passing being highly sensitive and others resonated, so I started writing more about the highly sensitive experience. Then during the pandemic I started writing about faith as a way to encourage others, accidentally solidifying my place in Evangelical spaces. Suddenly, I felt like I needed to edit my true self (real life experiences in Evangelical spaces taught me my true self wasn’t welcome). And, unfortunately, too often when I'd say things like God actually loves us, I'd get passive aggressive and sometimes downright rude DMs (this was always on Instagram, never here on Substack). It was exhausting. I just wanted to provide a safe place for fellow sensitives to BE THEMSELVES with God. I wanted to ... BE MYSELF. It was exhausting worrying if I’d get rude messages in my DMs or disappoint people because I wasn’t subscribing to someone’s particular version of Christianity (I don’t know who needs to hear this, but there are many expressions of it and always have been!). To be completely honest, I never “fit in” to American Christian Culture, and I really don’t want to2. As I learn to unmask as a neurodivergent person, I’m unmasking trying to pretend like I can fit in with that culture (which I, personally, do not think is synonymous with Follower of Jesus’ Way).
To be clear: Jesus is not a problem for me. And, I don't think I can never talk about faith and Jesus, but I wanted a more authentic name for these online spaces. I want to be honest with people, and I think the “Holy HSP" name was part of my high-masking self and gave the wrong impression (I didn’t even fully come up with that myself, I was highly influenced while high-masking). The truth is I've always been a Jesus loving, herbal plant loving, tree hugging hippie who thought the whole institution of "Christianity" was a bit silly and unnecessary to faith (and quite frankly caused a lot of harm thanks to its Imperial involvement in colonization). I know all the doctrine, theology, etc. And frankly, I love nerding out to real Bible scholars.
But, I also love Mother Nature (and know that many Christians get really uptight when anyone uses that term, but again, the constant editing and not being myself is really exhausting). I see God's animating life force IN ALL LIVING THINGS. I see it in the trees, the plants, birds, insects, animals, Mother Earth, Sister Moon, and Bother Sun. And, if God created humans (from the earth herself) with individual souls and essences, why can't all of Nature be the same?3
I'm sure more theological topics will come up from time to time, but my focus here, for now, at least in this season of my life, is NERVOUS SYSTEM SAFETY and the HEALING NATURE CAN PROVIDE. Not theology. I believe that Nature Heals and Love Wins! I believe God wants our nervous systems to feel SAFE and unfortunately, that’s not often possible in online Christian spaces.
If you subscribed for HSP theological content and aren’t interested in a Nature focus, please feel free to unsubscribe. No hard feelings. If you stick around, expect more highly sensitive content, just a little less trying to fit into a certain theological box.
Nature Heals & Love Wins, Dear Ones. May you be blessed with some time to connect with Creation very soon.
Thanks for being here! I’ll be back very soon.
Love & Light,
Megan
I no longer belong to these spaces and have long since walked away from Evangelicalism. “But why?” — *Gestures widely*. Please don’t feel as if you need to defend yourself or Jesus. Jesus and I are GOOD and everyone is on their own faith journey.
5 examples: 1) As a child I got in trouble for stating publicly that CCM music sucked. 30 years later, I stand by my statement, LOL. 2) As a neurodivergent child and teen (who didn’t know she was neurodivergent) I hated church camp and youth group and didn’t go (much to the dismay of church leaders). 3) At my Christian high school I was considered a trouble-maker in Bible class because I questioned everything and actually consulted real Biblical Scholarship. 4) As a pre-teen/teen when I learned about The Crusades and Imperial Christianity I had the audacity to say that didn’t sound like something Jesus would approve of. 5) I listen to Tool and Nine Inch Nails, and while I adore Hallmark (When Calls the Heart is truly one of my favorite shows, ever!) I also watch rated R movies and have zero issue with spicy novels.
For those of you not deep in Evangelical spaces that statement might sound obvious and harmless. But, as someone with Evangelical religious trauma my nervous system is tense, bracing for the reaction telling me how I'm headed for hell for thinking this...I still remember being told the movie FernGully was demonic. I don’t believe either to be true, but the nervous system remembers.
Thank You for sharing. xxx